Ferrari 599 Owner Blues


Yep, even a guy with a Ferrari can have a bad day.

Imagine waking up on a beautiful Florida morning with the intention of taking your Ferrari 599 out for a spin. The morning’s cool dry air will surely enhance your baby’s performance. The traffic will be light because the Snow Birds have migrated back to their northern dwellings. This will be your chance to open it up and get a few looks while strutting your “successful” stuff to the masses. Yep, it’s gonna be a good day!

Showered? Check. Dressed? Check. Driving shoes,
gloves, keys? Check, check, check. Let’s roll!

As the garage door slowly opens, rays of sunshine flood in and christen her flawless black paint with a holy glow. Your anticipation builds; you lovingly stare at her for a moment noticing a speck or two of dust. You stop, take a breath and gently blow them away. Carefully you open the door and proceed to slowly climb into the cockpit. At first, you gently stroke the curve of her soft leather wheel but your gentle caress turns to a firm assertive two fisted grasp, letting her know that you are the one in control here. You draw in a deep breath, full of confidence and satisfaction.

You’re finger slowly moves to the start button, gently you stroke it for a second as if you’re caressing the lips of Angelina Jolie herself. It’s time.

Your brain gives the order to the muscles in your hand to exert pressure; your finger launches forward, “Click!” NOTHING!  The brain fires again and the finger lunges several times more “Click-click-click” “Mother #ucker!”  In an instant the climactic moment is crushed by an overwhelming sense of disappointment. The feeling of confidence is beaten down by the feeling of foolishness. You spent a small fortune on a piece of crap that doesn’t run. Damn Italians! Damn Ferrari! Damn sports cars! The perfect day is suddenly a day from hell. Angelina is on the…err…rag! Call Ferrari! Call the dealership! Call Enzo! Tell them to send someone to pick up this piece of crap and don’t bring it back until its running perfectly!

A little while later. . .

You’re standing on the edge of your driveway watching your baby pull off on a flatbed, still angry but slightly regretting the things you said to her. Emotions got out of hand; she’ll be fine, she’ll be back.

Such a bad, bad day.

Lonely and sad, you wander around your driveway like a lost little boy looking for his mommy at Neiman Marcus. Life is so unfair; all you wanted was to enjoy a ride on this perfect morning. Is it so much to ask? Is it so much to ask, Lord?! Yes, you are having a very bad day indeed. And now to add to your anxiety you have a new dilemma, another choice, one more thing to deal with….should you take the Lambo or the McLaren?

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